Blood thicker than water?
That is a saying I used to believe as truth. As I have grown I realize family shouldn't only mean blood related. Family pride runs deep in my family. We are Heinz 57, but the heritages are all very proud of where they came from and who they are.
Growing up I had a step-father, who loved me dearly. I grew to love him. My biological father and I had a tight relationship also. He knew of the fondness between my step-father and I, and allowed me to be adopted by him.
Step-child syndrome was not the case in our family. I was genuinely loved and cared for by my step then adopted father. In my younger years I have to admit I was nasty and let him know he was not my father. I think that hurt worse than anything in the world.
Later when I divorced my husband, my biological father was trying to figure out if grandparents have rights, so he went to a lawyer. The lawyer explained to him he had no rights as he gave his own rights up when I was a child by allowing another man to adopt me.
It was eye opening!
He was going to have to prove he was in fact my biological father. We did not proceed because beyond any paternity test I knew he was my father, but so was the man that adopted me all those years ago.
That day I realized very plainly what it meant in both men's lives to give and receive something so precious.
I saw a man long ago give his own child to another man because he could provide better for her than he could. That didn't mean the biological father didn't care or love her any less. It meant he cared enough for her to make the sacrifice.
The man receiving the gift of sacrifice felt for the other man knowing his heart was good and in the right place. The receiving man would never stand in the way of the relationship between the girl and her biological father, even encouraged it.
What is family? It is people who love one another enough to do things that don't make sense to make sure others are cared for the way they should be.
Is blood thicker than water in the realm of family? No. It is not thicker. I grew up with two dads in my life that loved me and made sure I was loved and cared for.
Am I mad at my biological father for giving me away or giving up on me? No. The journey of my life has been crazy by all means, but it has been a path to who I am. I needed both of these men to prepare me for the road ahead of me.
God gave me both of these precious men to guide me along the way. I thank God everyday for the dads in my life.
I lost my adopted father in January 1995. It was and has been one of the hardest experiences in my life. He toughened me up and gave me my voice to be heard. Many times I want to pick up the phone and call him for advice. I cry, laugh, and move on! Then I call my mother and we cry, laugh and move on.
My biological father, Pop, moved close to me in Georgia, from Texas, when he lost his mother, my Oma, in 2000. We have always been close but never close in distance. We are trying to learn to have a close in distance relationship as well as continue our close bond.
Life is crazy, even hard at times; we need all the people God brings into our lives to get us through. Don't give up on people because they aren't blood related, or push others out of your life because you don't understand the decisions they made in probably the hardest time of their life.
We never know where our journey will lead us or the decisions we will be forced to make. How horrible would it be to make the same decision you pushed another out of your life for making.
Give grace and love all the people in your life, even if you don't like them. Hard to do, I know!
God bless...
